超级幽默诙谐的英语双语笑话合集
最近是不是不太开心啊?没事，快来看看小编为你整备的英语双语笑话，你就会开心起来了的。接下来就让我们一起来看一下吧。
一、
we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.
我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”
二、
during the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, i told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. he then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。
when he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "can you imagine, " she said. "seventy dollars and i had to kiss him too!
医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗，”她说，“付了他70元，我还得亲他!”
三、
after being away on business, tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
做完生意回来后，提姆觉得应该给妻子带点什么礼物回去。
“how about some perfume?”he asked the cosmetics clerk. she showed him a .00 bottle.
“那些香水怎么卖啊?”他问卖化妆品的售货员。售货员给他展示了一支价值50美元的香水。
“that’s a bit much,”said tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for .00.
“看起来好像有点贵哦!”提姆说道。于是售货员又拿出一款30美元的香水。
“that’s still quite a bit,”tim complained.
“还是贵了点。”提姆抱怨道。
growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny .00 bottle.
售货员开始有点恼火了，就给提姆一瓶很小的香水，价值15美元。
“what i mean,”said tim, “is i’d like to see something really cheap.”
“我的意思是，”提姆说，“我想看看一些真正便宜的东西。”
the clerk handed him a mirror.
售货员听了后，递给了提姆一面镜子。
四、
miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.
麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。
"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."
"你好，麦尔斯，"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"
"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."
"是的，先生。正是这样。"麦尔斯平静地承认了。"可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。"
"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."
"不全都是吧，"经理立刻说，"有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。"
"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."
"对呀，先生，你说得很对。"麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，"但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。"
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